Monkey Business Office Lingo #2

STAND-N-POINT:

1. Management style often used by store managers of "big-box" retailers.
2. Maintaining the pretense that one is too important to actually perform manual labor.

This particular method is usually performed in the following way: stand there, observe lower level managers and their teams doing their work, and remain absolutely still while doing so. Occasionally point to something that needs to be done or corrected, and bark out an order demanding quick action. This can also be done while walking around the store pretending to look like you are "inspecting" the work to make sure it's all on track. At 5:30pm, bark out more orders to lower managers, and then go home as quickly as you can, never to return until 8:00 the next day.

Here's a promise that I've made to myself: If I ever end up in corporate managment and I see a unit manager engaging in the "stand-n-point," I will personally go over, kick their ass, put tools in their hand, and tell them to get to work.

When I interview managerial candidates, I will check their hands for callouses. If their hands are too soft I'll throw them out of my office. I will check their resumes for any history of manual labor occuring before their degrees. If they're full of college and no hard work, I will spit on the paper and throw it back in the candidate's faces. I will tell my executives that if they want to be on the fast track for V.P., they will have to spend a year cleaning bathrooms in the stores. If they balk, I'll kick their ass and then throw them out.