All I Need To Know About Politics I Learned At The Movies.

One of my favorite movie scenes comes from the Mel Gibson version of "Maverick."

He explains that when sitting in on an unknown table of people in poker, he plays a patsy and purposely looses for the first half hour or so. While the game progresses he watches for "tells," or unconscious body signals people give based on the hand they have been dealt. Once he is certain he has everybody's "tells" figured out, he uses the information to clean up the competition for the rest of the game.

Whenever I start a new job or new work environment, I go out of my way to be an over-zealous eager-beaver skippy-scout yes-man. I go to great lengths to help other people out with their workloads, obey all the rules, follow orders with exactness, the works. While I may do this to contribute to the company's success, I never really expect any company credit for it -- companies rarely give it when it's earned.

The real reason I play that game is to watch other people's reactions to what I do. People who come to me and tell me to slow down and stop making them look bad are the ones I can automatically peg as losers and punks, who I can expect to cut my throat any minute they feel it suits them. The people who never give me thanks for the help are the ones I know will always look out for themselves, at the expense of others.

Being over-eager also helps me to find out what all the hidden rules are, because the really nice people fill me in on all the hidden rules, office gossip, and potential pitfalls in the workplace landscape. The really nice people will often volunteer to return favors for the help I give them, whereas the crappy people won't spare a minute to give me the time of day. The crappy people will purposely wait until I break a rule in my eagerness, then chew me out for it, walking away afterward with a smug air of superiority. Little do they know that I am reading them like a book, and sharpening my political knives while I do so.