Monkey Business Office Lingo #8

BRAND:

1) noun. Name given to a product by its manufacturer.
2) noun, as euphemism. Abstract concept involving the entire identity of a person, place, thing, or organization as it is perceived by the public as a whole. An ideogram or over-all Gestalt linked to said person, place, thing, or group in such a way as to cause anchored feelings and associations.
3) noun, as corporate double-speak. Literally meaning "our way of doing things." When an employee proposes an idea that a manager doesn't like or can't steal credit for, said manager will often state to the effect the idea is not part of the "company brand." [translation: your idea sucks, and I can't claim credit for it, so we won't adopt it.]

Case in point: Often our work involves the use of walkie radios. We'll use radio-style phrases such as:

• "ten-four, I copy."
• "Johnny, what's your ten-twenty (location?)"
• "Rick, can you give me the four-one-one (information) on the lunch schedule?"
• "Breaker one nine, it's the Silver Desperado, I'm Westbound and down, peggin' the double nickle, catch ya on the flip-side, over. (Attention please, this is ME and I'm headed home because I'm done for the day, taking it safe as I drive the speed limit, and I'll see you next time we work together.)

During a group meeting on the sales floor management told us there had been complaints by humorless idiots on the staff and we were no longer allowed to use radio terms. The official reason she gave was that those words were not part of "our company brand."