Monkey Business Management Secret #19

When handling the hiring and human resources in your business, sometimes it's good to use QUESTIONAIRES.

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MEMO: PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEE ASSESSMENT

Subject: Prospective Employee Assessment
To: All Managers

The following guidelines shall be used when hiring new personnel:

 - Take the prospective employees you are trying to place and put them in
   a room with only a table and two chairs.  Leave them alone for two
   hours, without any instruction.  At the end of that time, go back and
   see what they are doing.

 - If they have taken the table apart in that time, put them in
   Engineering.

 - If they are counting the butts in the ashtray, assign them to Finance.

 - If they are screaming and waving their arms, send them off to
   Manufacturing.

 - If they are talking to the chairs, Personnel is a good spot for them.

 - If they are sleeping, they are Management material.

 - If they are writing up the experience, send them to Tech Pubs.

 - If they don't even look up when you enter the room, assign them to
   Security.

 - If they try to tell you it's not as bad as it looks, send them to
   Marketing.

 - And if they have left early, put them in Sales.