Monkey Business Management Secret #8

THERE'S TOO MUCH BLOOD IN MY CAFFEINE CIRCULATION.

Top Signs You Drink Too Much Coffee:

• You have races with the Energizer bunny.
• You short out motion detectors.
• You have a conniption over spilled milk.
• You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
• You stick your cup under the trap instead of using the caraffe.
• Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
• You think being called a “drip” is a compliment.
• You don’t tan, you roast.
• Your three favorite things in life are…coffee before and coffee after.
• Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.
• You can’t even remember your second cup.
• You help your dog chase its tail.
• You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
• Your mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
• You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
• You think CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”
• Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
• Your mug says "got creamer?" on the side.
• All the hardware in your garage is stored in coffee cans.
• You have to wait for the cursor to catch up with your keystrokes.
• People hold the phone away from their ears when you call them.
  
• Your reflection in the mirror changes with each cup.
• Each new cupful dissolves more metal off of your spoon.
• The bottom of your cup is so dark, things dissappear into it.
• The rescue team thought you were in a coma until somebody spilt coffee onto your lips.
• Juan Valdez sends you birthday cards and Christmas cards.
• The price of coffee bean contracts moves drastically on the commodities markets each time you go out to buy some.
• Starbucks wants you to be their advertising mascot.