Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Don't Be A Squidward.

My kids love watching SpongeBob Squarepants. They know most of the episodes line for line. One episode features Squidward, one of SpongeBob's co-workers at The Crusty Crab Restaurant. Squidward is known for his never ending pessimism and cynicism. This particular episode showed Squidward in all of his business-killing notoriety.

Squidward had to take an order at the counter from a customer who stared at the menu board with a blank expression, and who couldn't make up their mind. They asked nit-picky questions about several products. They continued to stand there and stare at the menu board.

Out of frustration, Squidward finally begged: "puh-leeeze -- can you go be stupid someplace else?" When I first saw that, I busted out laughing and couldn't stop.

Today I had to deal with a continual stream of stupid people. People who walked up to the counter, not knowing what they want, expecting me to read their minds, and who got annoyed when I tried politely to find out simple things like what kind of burger they want. The best way to look like a stupid idiot in front of your friends is to walk into a fast food place and say "gimme one of those burger things," and then clam up with nothing more to say.

Then, if you want to look more stupid, say "gimme a drink with that," and say no more. To top it off, you can pull out a big coin purse and count out change to the exact penny, VERY slowly, when there's a long line of hungry people behind you.

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