I Believe In Magic.

It just HAS to be magic. I don't know how else to explain it.

I worked the electronics counter today. Every time I'm back there, empty carts just accumulate all around the department. No matter how many times I drag them all up to the front of the store, they reappear all over the place when I'm back in the department.

There must be a space-warp wormhole at the front of the store that these carts fall into, and they teleport back to the electronics area. It's either that or they mate and give birth to new carts when I turn my back on them.

OK, WISE-GUY.

I was "zoning" in the sporting goods department towards the end of the evening. (No, I wasn't spacing out....that's corporate double-speak for straightening the shelves.) I had just spent some time working through the soccer section when my buddy "J" from Asset Protection walks up to me and says "Hey! How many times have I told you to stop playing with your balls in public?"

IT NEVER FAILS.

This cute little co-ed thing picks out an ornate dresser set and has me and a co-worker bring it up front on a freight flat so she could check out. At the checklane my co-worker follows his hunch and asks the girl per chance what type of car she has. She tells us that she has a little Honda.

('DOH!)

My co-worker tells her that it's not going to fit. She hops onto her cell phone. "Daddy? What do I do?" He tells her that he'll have to come back for it in the morning with his truck.

I wondered to myself "at what point when you were driving your little bitty scooter over here did you decide to buy heavy furniture?" My coworker gave me a sideways glance that almost had me rolling on the floor. Maybe this girl should keep up with her schooling, and then she'll get a brain to think with someday.

IX-NAY ON THE INGO-LAY.

Once again they got onto us for using radio lingo. It makes me laugh. This company brags about being progressive. If radio terms facilitate effective communication amongst the staff, what harm is there? I thought communication and getting the job done were company values.
Evidently, they aren't. It has to have been those whiny, moaning, babies in softlines. They complain about EVERYTHING. If it were my store, I'd tell those ninnies over there to shut the heck up and get back to work.