Put My Cheese Back, and F* off.

Sacred Cows and Finely Ground Beef.

You know the old saying about sacred cows – they make great hamburgers.

Yesterday I was browsing through the business section of my favorite book store. I saw several copies that old ivory tower management fad hack piece, “Who Moved My Cheese?” That’s the book which says we must always change, whether we need it or not:

• It says management should always cram change down people’s throats, whether they want it or not.
• It says that people who resist change are stupid, incompetent, stubborn morons and they should always feel guilty for resisting change.
• It says that people who resist change are disloyal to their company, and are worse that kitten-stomping axe murderers.
• It says we should never question management whenever they demand change, but instead we should always suspend our reason and common sense.
• We should just simply accept the word of management when they introduce change.
• When it becomes obvious the change is a bad disaster, we must suspend our reason again and ignore all evidence against the change.
• It says that all change is good, and there is no such thing as change that is badly planned and poorly executed.
• It says we should ignore all examples in history where bad change led to bad results, destroying businesses, governments, and entire populations. (Hitler, Stalin, the Khmer Rouge, and New Coke come to mind.)

If there is one “silver bullet” management fad that I absolutely HATE, its “change worship.” The one thing I hate worse than “change worship,” is people who are change “worshipers.” These are the people who take their brains out of their head and leave them at the door when they go to work in the morning.

I’m thinking of writing a book, and calling it “Put My Freakin Cheese Back, or You’ll Loose Your Arm.”